thanks everyone for the birthday wishes and presents. i now know that jabir is a wealthy guy. wahaha. hmm. nothing to do at home. just reached home after sending my dear home.


i cant wait to play for my school again in the manchester utd cup. the first time i'll be wearing that blue jersey. woah.. the feeling is gonna be great. its been a long time since i played for school. it was last year against fuhua secondary in the national league 1. oh yea.. CIP hours is included in this tournament!


timetable has changed again. week b's pe will be on thursday. evia wants to camwhore again.. wait evia wait..

what a birthday! haha


i woke up and saw 2 msgs from my darling and irfan saying happy bdae. love them. and then went to school with darling. when im near to my class, my friends pointing KAMAR hand towards me and said sufism is one year older. long live sufism! haha. they all mepek la


then after english lesson they go "hamburgered" me. haha.. dont worry. i didnt break my bones
then jasper and i keep saying anyhow only. haha


after school, alfian and irfan went to my house to celebrate my bdae.
i felt bad for my darling cos she had planned a suprise for my bdae since last month and yet i couldnt manage to find time to do that. but we still meet up



this message is to my one and only love:
yes, im a flirter last time but i changed after seeing you. see how love changed me. im trying not to flirt with other girls as i want to be loyal. i changed for you..

i still remember the msg luqman sent to you. in there was i still love you etc. that was just rubbing salt into the wound. that msg makes me boil so mad that even a volcano cant match. in my mind was like, "shit, i dont wanna lose you" , "do you still love him" , "who do you love more? me or him?" all kinds of shit appeared in my mind.. that was one of my lowest point in my life.. yet i still kept quiet bout it. just leaning towards you while u said it was all nonsense. i felt like breaking down but i didnt. i kept my cool. In times like this, singing a song is good enough to forget pain memories. but not this. this matter was worse than doomsday.. until the vow we made at the parking lot

"dont leave me if anything happens"
u replied," i wont".
then i suddenly thought of Green days Wake me up when sept ends video. it was the same conversation.
but i hope things will not turn that way after that. cos i trust her. i love her more than romeo loves juliet

these few days, i have been 'argueing' (some sort like that) with my dear cos of what she's doing thats making me jealous. its really hard to let go some of these bottled feelings but if not let go i'll suffer. she said why i didnt tell her and said i will suffer. truth is, i am suffering. its just that she didnt know. so i told her what i wanted to tell. hope shes ok. really. i really really love her sia.. for eternity. i know jealousy will only cause trouble thats why i just kept quiet.

i know im a shy guy. i admit. and i admit i deserved more enthusiasm from you. although i just got to know you this year.
Now im opening up hoping to know the 'opened' u when you're with me. u'll get to know the real me real soon honey.
then im scared that when im opened,she doesnt like it. haiz.. things always have its pros and cons huh?


is there any cure for jealousy? does keeping quiet helps?


haiz.. im tired. absolutely tired. soccer training drained my energy for 2 days and tmr got training.. wah.. endure,endure..

i agree with fauzi. being in rock band or knowing how to play an instrument just to be popular or look cool. i myself enjoy playing the guitar. one stroke of a D major is brilliant. one stroke of an E minor is amazing. one stroke of a G5 is intruiging.


haha. nuff said


nowadays i dont interact much with girls as my eyes look only at my dear.. haiz.. but when my eyes look at her with another guy or smsing another guy i will feel irritated. when im irritated u will see me go quiet for a few moment ..haiz..bloody feelings.. its just her friend but i cant help it.. is ignoring it or pretending im not irritated gonna help? i dont wanna trouble her so i kept it a secret..until now.. i hope when she sees this she will forgive me


i wanna apologise to my dear for this. i wanna apologise to her friends for being childish. i wanna apologise to my friends for being irritating etc. syafizah.. i wanna apologise to my teachers for being rude etc. mr haqam and mr teo.. i promise myself u all will see a brand new me after school reopens.. i swear


the last apologies goes to my dear's friends ain and amirah..
i know that both of u think that she ditched u for me but its just a misunderstanding. i know nowadays ive gotten addicted to her but i promise she wont be my cocaine. i dont want to myself to be the cause of ruining ur friendship. u both hate me but i dont. so why dont we become friends? friends are definitely better than enemies. am i right? or am i right?

that band -65 is history. now im with hafriz, hazwan and afiq.

the problem is that we dont have a name. suggestions appreciated

fauzi is getting really out of his mind these days.. so what if i have an older girlfriend? im not after lust. im naturally attracted to her. i love her and that doesnt change until doomsday


the sabbatical course at Hwa Chong Institution was quite amazing. i made friends,close friends, in marvin and Xiang Quan. They were really nice. The best thing about this course was the experiments and the field trips. i hate theories. During the field trip,i manage to catch a butterfly for my darling and i KILLED it. WTF? im a murderer.



my little soldier is hurt.