Love is A Verb

i made a mistake. sigh you only realise you make a mistake when you have made the mistake. I'm sorry.. but its the thought of you leaving me that scares me the most. I just didn't want you to leave me for other guys. maybe thats why it happened so regularly? cos i was afraid of losing you. The thing with A aka grumpygoat was still the most painful thing i've ever had to deal with in my life. I didn't wanna rake this up tho. I think you know this thats why you kept saying 'its hard to forget' but I'm trying very hard to bury him and the thoughts of him inside the back of my head. Theres this saying 'When you're conserved, people think that you're doing nothing but when you're doing a lot, it might turn into a mistake'. I think thats what happened here.

When you said 'embarrassing' just now, I really thought I was an embarrassment. I'm sorry. I felt like I was the worst boyfriend ever. The one who had no responsibility at all. I kept thinking how i let you down in a major way. Then when I read your blog, i realised how wrong was i in asking you to do this. You're right to blame me in every way possible. I am so sorry. and yet you still paid for it. Sometimes i forgot how selfless you are.

We're so alike in our feelings if you ever read this. We are insecure for the same reasons

Just like you but in the opposite way, all guys are threats irregardless whether its best friend or colleagues. i will brush them off unless they flirt with you or ask you out. (was it the zul guy who asked you to go out to eat? i forgot the name. and i really hate the zakir guy not to mention grumpygoat too)

Z, I only intended to love you with the best of my abilities. Im sorry if I'm demanding or naggy or sometimes sensitive or sometimes insensitive. I just wanted whats best for you. I have never intended to hurt your feelings or your health. After this incident, I am more determined now to love you even better. I really do

You might not hear me say or tweet this but I am really thankful you came to my life albeit the untraditional way which is through twitter. Since then 3 months on, we've been through ups and downs, a lot of shits but i have never thought of leaving you at all. Sure i may get angry at your mood-swings but i always tried to calm down first and let you have your silent moments which can take up to a day. For your blog question, I love you for the smile that you have and how selfless you always are to me. Your smile has never fail to make me smile too and thats how i fell in love with you. Happy monthsary girlfriend

I am so so so so so so sorry for everything that has happened. Nothing i can do to change this.

From the worst boyfriend ever